Because it sure is surreal sometimes

Because it sure is surreal sometimes

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Please Pass the Bullets

If a 10 year old boy drops his pencil in the middle of the kitchen for the fifth time while gearing up to start doing his homework, does his mom hear it even if her head has popped off?

The answer is Yes. In fact, she continues to hear it the 6th, 7th, and 8th times, even after her head has rolled down the hall and out the front door.

Why is it that when I say, “Jay, get out your homework,” he hears, “Jay, observe and comment on every molecule within a three-foot radius of your notebook.” Of course, I’m exaggerating a little bit. Sometimes he hears, “Jay, go to the fridge and open it; stare blankly for three minutes. Close it and wander over to the window and watch the cats watch the gopher holes."

It isn’t until at least 9 p.m. when the really mundane things begin to catch his attention. More disturbing are the nights that I run out of wine around this same time. Like last night, when I took the last sip as I heard this:

“I think I see a fruitfly.”

“Keep working.”

"Do you think the dog is cold out there?"

"Keep working."

(noise of ice dropping into icemaker in fridge)

“What was that!?” he says with an edge of anxiety in his voice, as though there is actually some possibility of me answering, “I have no idea! Get out of the house quick!! Run down the street to Bradley’s house and play video games until the police come get you and tell you it’s safe to return!!!”

It’s 9:30. The third and final paragraph of this behemoth of an assignment is halfway finished. There’s still a math page to do and spelling words to review.

"Honey, I'm going to the store..."

1 comment:

TCB said...

I think a lot of people will relate to this scenario and enjoy the humor! It brought back memories for me.